Frost

Another year, another chilly winter take about being stuck in a car in freezing conditions. This time the unlucky pair are a father and daughter. We meet her first – Abby (Devanny Pinn), driving along a remote road with a sign marked ‘ICY’ to visit the dad she hasn’t seen in years, not needing words to explain why. Grant (Vernon Wells) can see at a glance that she’s pregnant – almost at the end of her third trimester – and it seems like reason enough to try to patch up the relationship which has been broken since her mother’s death. She still snipes at him about his drinking, about his decision to move into the middle of nowhere and make his living by hunting and selling skins. He tries to take it in his stride. He’s missed her, and they’re both feeling excited about a better future as they drive towards town together – before the car abruptly slides over the side of a hill and comes to a halt at the edge of a precipice.

Owing to their position and the fact that Abby has been impaled through the shoulder by a tree branch (Grant must be the only mountain man in history not to carry a knife capable of cutting through such a thing), there’s no way to extract her from the car. The radio has forecast an incoming severe weather system, which of course also provides the filmmakers with a nice excuse for why phone and radio communication is a non-starter. The windows are broken and it’s only going to get colder. So off Grant goes, gruff and grizzled, hiking towards the town in search of help. Of course, Abby soon starts to experience contractions. Oh, and there’s a wolf, because of course there’s a wolf.

Abby whimpers a lot. This is understandable. When, as time goes on, and on, she keeps whimpering, it is less so. Anyone who has experienced intense, lasting pain will tell you that after a while one runs out of energy for that sort of thing. She doesn’t even have anyone with her to hear it, unless one counts the unborn child, who functions as a convenient excuse for her to speak her thoughts aloud from time to time. Not that she has much to say, but at least she finds a few different things to do, which makes her scenes more interesting than those of Grant just walking and then walking a bit more.

Director Brandon Slagle began his career in heavy metal, which is perhaps why the music is much bigger than the performances. When Abby eventually gives birth, we get choral music, as if this were first and foremost a deep, mystical moment – something liable to make many of those viewers who have actually given birth want to throw things at the screen. Around this point, the film runs out of plot, so lurches off into what can only be described as heavy metal aesthetics. Gory imagery and shock value take precedence over things like character consistency and physics. This is fair enough, but people who like this kind of thing are likely to have become bored already and given up, whereas those who have sat through the rest are unlikely to be impressed.

Watching this film is more fun than being stuck in a car in freezing conditions, but only slightly.